taken a long time….
….though most things do, but recently everything has become more and more stretched out and it has become more difficult to just do the simple things and work out the tricky stuff.
This covers so many different things, but I guess the elephant in the room since February has been Edwards appeal/tribunal for his secondary school.
It is pretty much impossible to explain how the educational special needs system works, as I have told a number of people at the LA (Local Authority/County) it would be fairer to decide on school places using the FA Cup draw!!
(Edward at the beach 3 years ago)
So in a nutshell, this is what has happened;
– If you have a child with a Statement of Special Educational Needs, you have to decide on what secondary school you want your child to go to a year before their mainstream equivalents do, this is hard, as you have to visit both special and mainstream schools before knowing what position who will be in 2 years time, I’m not that good at fortune telling!
So we did this in September 2008, we knew exactly which school we wanted, had a good case for it, and felt that he couldn’t go to the catchment school, as it would ruin his chances for a successful future, both educationally and after his education.
– So you do this, and then you have to wait until your mainstream equivalents find out what school they have got into, so February 2010. As you already know, we failed to get our first choice school : (
And we had to start our appeal.
– When you appeal you have to show why ‘educationally’ your child needs to go to that school, this was very hard, as both schools had the same description.
All special needs schools have areas they specialise in, MLD (Moderate Learning Difficulties), ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder), EBD (Emotional Behavioral Difficulties) etc. One of the problems we were encountering was that Edward was labeled MLD, which couldn’t be more wrong, like most children with Aspergers, he has a spiky profile (I’ll try to explain this another time!), and he has a short term memory problem, which can make him appear to be ‘slow’, ‘lazy’ and unable to learn in a conventional mainstream manner.
But one of the schools, the one we wanted, has a much better track record, outstanding in fact, of helping boys like Edward succeed.
– So we had a plan of action, get Edward assessed by a Educational Psychologist, a Speech and Language Therapist and an Occupational Therapist. With these three assessments we would have a much clearer understanding of Edwards needs and educational requirements.
– And we did! So much so that we had so much more to get done, and to show the LA that they were so wrong about Edward.
During this time, we always hoped that the LA would change their minds, and offer Edward a place there, I personally developed (and still have) a extreme dislike of the woman responsible for making the decision at the LA. Because of this I was no longer allowed to ring the LA for info, I think this was probably for the best.
I also developed the ability to burst into tears whenever I thought about it all, and to be honest still do unless I’m trying really hard not to.
– The LA did not change their minds, and on July 12th we headed up to London for the first day of the tribunal, then the 13th, and then the 15th. The only light relief on these three days was watching the LAs incompetent barrister, and the woman I dislike, being told off by the tribunal panel!
– Then the wait……….
(I was trying to find a photo to convey waiting in the blog library photos, does this work?)
and we waited, even though it was only 2 working days after the last time we had sat in front of the tribunal it felt like an eternity, and on Monday 19th at about 4pm I had had enough…..
I rang the tribunal, I asked if they had made a decision, yes was the answer, they letter had gone out in the post! I couldn’t wait that long!! So I asked if she could tell me the decision, the answer was no : ( Could she e-mail it to me, yes she could! And then came what felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life, I was at work, waiting for an e-mail that could change Edwards life forever and the whole family….
I went and sat out on the back steps, tried to relax, came back, and it was there. I had to open it, but I was torn, I so wanted the result, but it had to be the right result, opened it, and suddenly realised I was going to have to scroll through many pages to get the answer, kept going down and down, and there it was, the answer, the last line of the document, it named the school that we had fought for the past 6 months to get into, finally we had what we all wanted, a future for Edward and to give us all hope.
It is so hard to explain, but you have to be slightly crazy to go through the appeals system, because at every turn there is something to thwart you, something to make you want to stop, but you have to carry on, because only you can do it.
I have to say thank you to Johns parents, Ruth and Jim, because without them, we would have probably failed immediately, without their time, energy, devotion, and sadly their money we would not have been able to do this, so thank you!
I am starting to make again, and I want to write the blog more/again, and thank you for all your support, I have appreciate the comments on here and the e-mails, thank you, and see you very soon!
ps I’m sorry if I have waffled, or stuff doesn’t make sense, if you really want to know more, leave a comment and I will reply to you : )
1st August 2010 @ 11:30 pm
I’ve been following your blog for a while and have been really interested in reading about your family and your dealings with the education system. Congratulations for getting the school you have fought so hard for. I’m a teacher and have worked predominantly with boys with EBD and MLD. I love the work, it’s so rewarding when they are progressing and achieving in an environment that is right for them and equally as frustrating when schools don’t do as they should. I wish Edward every success with his future education and hope the school lives up to its promises. All the best to all of you, hope you enjoy the relief and ease that will come now your ordeal is over. xxx
1st August 2010 @ 11:32 pm
I am so delighted that you finally have the decision you needed and wanted. Well done on your perseverance.
2nd August 2010 @ 5:06 am
Really pleased everything worked out in the end, even though it sounds like you have had a right battle on your hands.
Hopefully now you will be able to put this behind you and move on.
Keep smiling
Vanessa x
2nd August 2010 @ 7:15 am
I am so so pleased for you and for Edward. What a long and difficult road. But a brilliant result. I hope the school is everything you are hoping it will be for him.
2nd August 2010 @ 8:11 am
Well done to you & all your family for your perseverance. My youngest son, sounds very similar to your son. I know exactly how you feel, you have to fight for everything, it’s a continual uphill battle & I too have one woman that has been determined to make things even harder for us.
I’m glad things have been resolved & I wish you all well for the future.
Sarah x
2nd August 2010 @ 9:30 am
Words cannot expres how pleased I am for you. What fantastic parents you are to fight for what you KNOW is right for your son xx
2nd August 2010 @ 9:56 am
Sometimes people strive to make things very difficult for us but well done to you for fightling for what was right for your family and son.
2nd August 2010 @ 11:09 am
I have heard a similar story from friends of ours. Their child also has a “spiky profile”, complicated by being profoundly deaf as well. One of the grandparents looked at all the paperwork and said “It’s OK for you two, you went to university, you’re accustomed to reading this sort of stuff – what must it be like for parents who don’t have that background?”. The system is clearly broken if it is so difficult to get what your child needs.
I wish Edward and all of you all the best.
2nd August 2010 @ 11:58 am
I’m so glad you’ve finally got the result you wanted – it’s clearly been so tremendously stressful for you all. Here’s to a more straight-forward future!
I love the pants picture! Very appropriate 😀 .
2nd August 2010 @ 1:14 pm
I nearly cried while I was reading this post! I’m so glad to hear that Edward will be able to attend the school that you have fought so hard for.
2nd August 2010 @ 3:48 pm
I’m so glad to see you got a positive outcome. It is so wrong that you have to fight so very hard to get what is best for your child, and I’m sure that the stresses of it on your family have been tremendous. I hope that Edward thrives at his school, and you never need to fight like a mummy tiger again.
2nd August 2010 @ 6:19 pm
I am so pleased for you. It takes a lot to see these things through and I am so glad that you didn’t allow it to defeat you. I hope you can now let go of all that worry and look forward to seeing your son blossom in an environment suited to him. x
2nd August 2010 @ 6:36 pm
HOORAY< HOORAY< HOORAY – Well done for sticking to your guns and fighting the good fight. I'm so pleased that you got the result that you so deserved and I hope that you can now smile and relax and look forward with hope and happy anticipation!
2nd August 2010 @ 7:04 pm
oh my goodness, i read that post with baited breath waiting for the outcome. i am so glad to read that he has a place at the school you wanted, finally!
2nd August 2010 @ 8:19 pm
Well done for sticking with it long enough to get the right result for Edward. I’m sure all that effort and worry and persistence has been very draining for the past two years but it has certainly proved worthwhile. You should be very proud of yourselves.
2nd August 2010 @ 11:34 pm
so pleased for you!! but what a tough and frustrating journey you have had.. well done for sticking with it when all seemed to be stacked against you. i wish Edward a bright future at his new school.
x
3rd August 2010 @ 12:39 am
What a relief. I read your tweets and could see that this was having a big impact on you. I’m pleased for you and Edward that you have the outcome you wanted and needed. Sometimes the journey is hard, but the end is well worth the trouble you took to get there.
Monda
x
3rd August 2010 @ 9:21 am
I was delighted to read that you have had the result you wanted for Edward. I know what a long hard slog it can be as I went through the same with my son but it was worth all the battles. You can read his story here http://ginaferrari.blogspot.com/2009/08/result.html
You will always know what is best for your son… unlike the so called experts. Good luck to you all.
3rd August 2010 @ 4:25 pm
Oh lordy lordy. I understood every word of that.. I have had all this marlarky with my children. My eldest who is an Autist, learning diff, speech and language, blah, blah. And my youngest with Behavioural Problems, caused by Speech and language problems. Anyhoo.. Charlie was a breeze when he went through transition in to high school he just went up into ‘big school’. As with Sonny, no problems. I got my choices of school which i felt what was best for them. And they are doing fantasically well.
My problem is getting charlie into a college. This is his second year refusal. Last year he wasn’t ‘able’ enough to attend.. This year he is ‘too able’ for one course, and ‘too young’ for another course. lol Yeah!!! There is nothing I can do at the moment, becasue they are conviently all closed for the summer. But after the holidays, I’m gonna be shooting all my guns ha ha ha.. Guns at dawn!!! (insert western scene here)
I’m so pleased you got the right placement for Edward. I bet your mind it so much at peace now that you have got him in to the right place.
Have a great summer xx
3rd August 2010 @ 5:03 pm
So pleased it all worked out well – hard work but thankfully worth it in the end! Best wishes to Edward in his new school.
4th August 2010 @ 3:47 pm
I am so happy for you (even I just cannot understand how the system can put children and their parents to go through all that) and your family, I have a strong faith that parents know what´s best for their child. All the best for you all and I am sending loads of sunshine from hot and summery Finland to you to enjoy!
Yours,
Mia
6th August 2010 @ 3:44 pm
well done you guys!
8th August 2010 @ 1:18 pm
That is such fantastic news! I’m so pleased that you’ve finally got the news you all deserve. Congratulations and good luck for the new school year!
Jx
10th August 2010 @ 4:08 pm
I have missed your blog posts and understand why yuo have not posted when you are going through all this. Well done for all your perseverance when many would have given up and good luck to Edward in his new school.
Best Wishes
Jacqui
14th August 2010 @ 12:08 am
Crikey – you’ve really been through the mill – but I’m so pleased you finally got the school for Edward that he needs – I don’t think it’s anything like as difficult in our LA, but then I’m just on the receiving end 😉
It really does make a difference to a child to have them in a school that “gets” them – I work in a school with an attached SILC and we have more than an average number of “mainstream” students with apergers, ASD & behavioural issues – I love working with our students – they’re so rewarding and I’m (almost) missing them during the holidays.
I hope that the late descision gives you enough time to prepare Edward and that he continues to flourish at his new school!