no energy
I feel wasted, I have a sore throat, heavy eyes, and tired legs. Is this really worth it, is standing on your feet all days, or for 4 hours really worth £5.60 per hour, when I could be giving more support to all my boys, and developing my creativity.
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place : (
I dunno, any ideas anyone?
Also, tomorrow my mum is in hospital having her knee looked at, by keyhole surgery, and where will I be, yep, filling shelves with Christmas Cards, maybe this is another reason why I’m questioning this. She will be alone at hospital because my Dad has to work, so what is more important, me doing a job, which is nice enough, but working 9 to 5 with only 15 minutes sitting down, I ache, or being able to go and stay with my mum and help her. I’m not sure if I’m feeling guilty, or just sorry for myself…..
2nd November 2007 @ 1:30 am
you know… if it doesn’t feel right then don’t do it. you could always not go tomorrow- most places will understand the need to accompany one’s mum to the doctor.
when I feel like this I try to imagine what I would feel like if I did not have said obligation- if the feeling is enormous relief- then you should probably let go of the job. if you feel about the same, but start looking for other things to feel overwhelmed about then you are probably just feeling sorry for yourself- or at least that is how it usually works with me.
I wish you luck in thinking through this. take care.
jen
2nd November 2007 @ 9:29 am
Ah – I know this feeling well. My children are 9 & 7 and I felt that I ‘had’ to go back to work – everyone else was, and at my childrens ages too. Everyone would say – what do you do? Housewife would be my answer, followed by them saying – how old are your children and looking incredulous at me when I answered. I was on a similar wage and worked 4 hours a day and it WASN’T worth it – well not for me. By the time I’d travelled in to work and home it was nearer 5 & half hours. The house would need to be tidied, then it was a rush to get dinner on, homework done and spend time with my family. £60 a week wasn’t worth it for me. I’m happier now than I was then. I value my time with my family more – so the experience wasn’t wasted in that respect. It has cleared my values. I’m fortunate I don’t have to work – we live in a small house and have no aspirations to move (good thing really!), and we live within our means. We may not go abroad or wear lots of branded clothes – but we are happy – and that is priceless. What ever happens – you must go with what is right for you. You are sensible enough to know yourself better than anyone. NB – I love your blog and this is the first time you’ve shaken me out of lurking!!
2nd November 2007 @ 10:30 am
I suggset some time out for you.
Think of something to rejuvente, maybe a deep bubble bath, game of sqaush, something that is your time out. You sound tired so sending a (hug)
2nd November 2007 @ 12:43 pm
Its hard Alice. But remember, the start of it is likely to be the hardest. Give yourself a little time to adjust and then make your decision. Hope your Mum’s surgery goes well.
3rd November 2007 @ 2:40 am
You sound so glum. Wish I could give you a hug for comfort. A wise person once told me to make a career out of your passion and it won’t feel like work. And look at you! You have talent and creativity. Just look at those gorgeous bags!! You have been blessed. Share your gifts, take care of your loved ones and you’ll be happy. You won’t have any regrets. Please let us know how you’re doing tomorrow and how your mum makes out. :o)
3rd November 2007 @ 10:54 am
Oh the stresses of being a mother and trying to be all things to all people! What a familiar feeling you describe. I think if you don’t need the job and it isn;t making you happy, then stop or find something else that you enjoy more instead. And definitely make some time for yourself, if only so you get time to put a little perspective on what you really think so you know what to do next.
Best wishes.
3rd November 2007 @ 11:17 pm
I know what you mean. I too run a craft business but have had to take on a temp christmas job. Up at 6.30 this morn, on the bus by 8 with my 2 little monkeys, stood behind a till for 8 hrs for 3p more an hour than you, exhausted now, JOY!!
I hate it but, needs must and my children drive me through the tough times without a doubt.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I love the things you make, very inspiring. Just think of all the lovely fabric you can buy with all your hard earned dosh!!
I really hope that your Mum is ok.
Chin up luv!
4th November 2007 @ 8:40 am
I hope your mum’s surgery went well. By the sound of it, all that crap for that hourly rate – i’d say no way. That four hours could be spend making another tote for etsy. or spending it with your kids. go with what your gut says.