lack of brain power
I feel like I need to explain stuff, where I have been and what has been happening, but why would I do that? I mean, this is my blog, and I don’t need to explain myself to anyone, but I do, because writing this helps, getting stuff into writing moves it from my brain and hopefully makes it a bit neater and gives the rest of my brain space to move!
Hey what a great start! If I have not freaked you out or bored you, I shall begin….. To tempt you onwards, there is a photo near the end!
I think around the 20th of April I was really moaning about William and how awful he was being and how I took him to the doctors, well I did, and he performed as I would have expected, into everything, wanted to fiddle, wouldn’t shut up, and oh god it was awful, so bad that the doctor suggested that maybe he has ADHD, joy!
Well I don’t think he has ADHD, maybe some elements, but as like so many of these things, everyone exhibits some symptoms and to be honest it was an easy answer to a worn down mother and manic child!
From this we went back to school, and the lunacy continued, to a point that two weeks ago he was temporarily excluded. Now I know people from his school read this blog so I will not write everything I feel about the situations that lead to this event, however, I feel that he exhibited behaviour that we have seen at home, but he did it in school more extremely which caused the ‘incident’. I could go on about the problems of excluding a child, but really it is not worth it : (
This happened the Thursday before the Bank Holiday weekend, so he had 5 days away from school, and shockingly he did want to go back, and he has been pretty good I think, but I don’t really know if he is getting an education as such at the moment, and this is no disrespect to the school, but that element does concern me. He is pig headed and stubborn and he knows that there is only so much school can do : (
So since that break he has been pretty sorted, but I knew we had an observation looming from the Educational Psychologist and the Schools Paediatrician, which was on Wednesday. I wasn’t worried until the night before, and then I guess I started to think about it more and maybe too much, but actually it was good and really ok. They watched him for 90 minutes and then I had a meeting with them to discuss what they had seen, their opinions and feedback from me as the parent.
They want to him to have a Statutory Assessment which may well and hopefully (I think) lead to a Statement of Special Needs, which is what Edward already has, and has made a huge difference for his education. But there so far is no diagnosis, no label for him…. So we go on the waiting list to see the Clinical Psychologist and go from there.
So all of this had made me feel a bit mentally frazzled… But there are people out there, with so much more on their plate, that really I need to stop moaning and just get on with it!
Also running over this period of time I was approached by an agency representing a well known high quality card company if I could come up with some designs to submit, yay, you may say, but instead I was plunged into total creative block : ( I was limited by their requirements in a way I thought I could deal with and basically I just failed, my brain with everything else just seized up and produced stuff that I’m simply not proud of, and the way I work is that I’ve got to love making it and would potentially love to use it, otherwise why bother!
But yesterday in the last throw of the dice my creative mojo returned, and I came up with some designs I really like, but they didn’t, but now I can show you a peek : )
The three bits are actually from two bags, I’m sure you can guess which bits go together!
These will be turned into bags over the next few days, and I feel relieved in a way, I’m designing and making things for me and you, and you have all been so lovely as always that I can’t wait to share these with you very soon!
Thanks for reading the amazing amount of waffle above, and thank you for all your comments on the two previous posts, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
More soon, I promise!
16th May 2008 @ 7:29 am
Alice, no wonder you’re frazzled. At least you are not fazed by ‘the system’ and the words. Remember, you know him best and you know what is best for him. Keep strong.
16th May 2008 @ 8:21 am
I really like the latest designs very much!
16th May 2008 @ 9:41 am
Good luck with everything, I love the new designs… it is my birthday this weekend and I am thinking of treating myself :0)
16th May 2008 @ 10:34 am
Lovely work as always. I envy your creative talent.
I wish I could send you some ‘mental energy’ to help you through with your son. I know the statementing system sets out to be a positive thing (and on the whole I think statements are positive – depends a bit on the school) but the route is definately just emotionally exhausting. Keep talking. People can help you through it all then.
16th May 2008 @ 12:06 pm
As both a mum and a teacher (another life!) I know where you are coming from. You have/are handling all this amazingly well and being frazzled is part of that. how on earth you also manage to be creative is beyond me, but your bags are beautiful.
So the card company didn’t want those designs? Ok, then that just means this wasn’t the time – what is meant to be is meant to be (Golly wish could take my own advice!) xx
16th May 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Oh Alice. That all sounds so hard. I really feel for you. I don’t know how I’d feel in such a situation – so complex, but I just want to say that it sounds like you are doing your very best by your boys, despite how exhausting the day-to-day must be, as well as contemplating the bigger picture.
Your bag designs are beautiful. I have been in a similiar situation, not with craft, but with another opportunity, and similarly found myself paralysed in the face of such a gift. I don’t know whether this is in some way our minds steering us away from what may not be the best path, but I do know that even bearing that possibility in mind, I felt disappointed and irritated by myself, so I’m so pleased that you are seeing the positive and that you see how beautiful your final designs are, even if they are not to the taste of the card company. They are really lovely. I love the apples.
Wishing you a lovely weekend, Florence x
16th May 2008 @ 7:04 pm
just, holy shit. and lots of hugs from me to you. x
16th May 2008 @ 7:59 pm
Oh poor you. Sounds like just the sort of recipe to send anyone’s brain into melt down so I’m not surprised you are feeling frazzled. I hope the assistance from the system proves helpful and that everyone is back on an even keel soon.
P.S. Those bags are fabulous!
16th May 2008 @ 9:08 pm
I hope you feel better for letting it out on the blog, I am sure it will work itself out one way or the other!
Love the new designs very Spring like!
Vanessa x
17th May 2008 @ 9:03 am
Goodness you have a lot on your plate at the moment, just getting through it is enough so be kind to yourself. Love the bag designs, as always.
17th May 2008 @ 4:58 pm
You’re right It’s your blog so say what you like! It helps me to write it down like that so hopefully you feel you’ve off loaded your worries a bit. As a parting note, your designs are goregeous, they’re so modern and simple. I feel a spurlge coming soon!
17th May 2008 @ 7:48 pm
You are a busy lady! I just love to come by and see the beautiful applique you do! Thanks for the peek at your fabulous bags.
Happy weekend!
-emily
17th May 2008 @ 8:24 pm
Hi, I know you don’t know me but I love your blog and love to see all your creative work. My son is also very hyper active. I knew that he would have a hard time at school from the time he took his first 10 steps (yup he ran the first time he was up on his legs- no 1st baby step for him). At age 4 I decided to try him in Karate. I found a really great instructor and I get to stay in the same room so I can help refocus him when he started getting out of hand. He is almost 6 and has improved so much it is amazing. The self-discipline he has developed himself during these last two years has amazed everyone who works with him. I also have had him in soccer 3 years now and it helps get him running beyond his own hyperness. A miracle as you can guess. (Although he did wrestle the coach’s son down one time for the ball LOL.)
The last decision for me to make was to home school him at least until I knew that he could handle a group situation without me. I found an online school that has the state fully behind it. Connectionsacademy.com. I am so excited about the ability to work with him everyday in a goal to have him become independently in control of himself without missing out on an education. He is currently halfway through 1st grade which he wasn’t even suppose to start until fall. And the best part is that together him and I have the gratification that we did it! I have been able to give him one-on-one attention, give him the breaks that he needed to continue on, give him the enthusiasm that he needs to enjoy his work, and the praise that he craves so much.
I don’t know if any of this will help you in anyway, but I just want you to know (from one mother who wouldn’t accept the “labeling” of others) I understand how you feel and I know that your son is extremely smart and has amazing abilities and I am so proud of hearing your devotion to him.
Wendy
18th May 2008 @ 12:10 pm
Sounds like you’ve had a pretty tough time recently – I’m not surprised you’re feeling a bit frazzled! It sounds like it’s a good thing for you and William that the ball is rolling on an assessment. I hope that it comes around soon and that it helps you to get some support for William. I’m glad you reached a happy place with your designs – I completely agree that you’ve got to be pleased with what you create or there’s not really any point and sometimes having your creativity constrained by a client brief can just be enough to cause a block. Being free to go with the flow definitely helps! Hope you’re having a good weekend x
18th May 2008 @ 8:26 pm
Just to send my thoughts and best wishes to you as a frazzled mother.
20th May 2008 @ 2:38 am
Hi!
This is interesting. I have been homeschooling my kids (for various reasons) for 14 years now. My 3 eldest went to school, but the other 5 have never been. Anyway, this is all by the by. I’m not advocating homeschooling for you. My 16 year old has just started her year 11 at a high school. She has never been to school before and so her view of what goes on at school is incredibly interesting. This is her 4th week at school and a friend of hers has just been suspended. She doesn’t understand it. This kid doesn’t want to be at school and so to ‘fix’ it they say ‘don’t come to school’. Do they think this is punishment? This kid is on cloud nine! When teachers have a problem with a kid in class not working they send them to the ‘focus’ room where there is a teacher, but no work is expected of them. So, if they don’t want to work they send them somewhere where they don’t have to deal with that particular teacher and they don’t have to do any work. It is a crazy system! She is finding school full of contradictions!
20th May 2008 @ 11:42 am
i read it word for word. And although I don’t have children going through this, I do have a 4 year old who is bloody hard work!!!!! (her behaviour is getting better so I know it is just personality and age based) we had a shocker tonight and I have had a spacialist come to witness her behaviour at home…big help! anyway, I also can relate to the part about getting an opportunity and not being able to produce your best on time for it. Being underpressure because you are just a mum with mum issues as well as trying to be a successful creative human. I think what you have produced looks fantastic. I try to remember, not to try too hard to produce something too new or different. They asked you to be apart of something because they like your work that you have already made…..stick to it and you will succeed. Be strong, blog it out if you may, it all helps.
17th August 2008 @ 7:39 am
I read this blog and it was like reading my own sons start at school. He went from being a lively boy to a trouble maker in a couple of weeks. I was extremely worried, confused until I read a book ‘bringing up boys’ and that explained a lot. Seemingly boys get a hormone rush at school age which is incompatable with sitting still and in some boys can cause real agression plus some boys are just not ready for school. In my sons case he hated the happy clappy ladies that were in his class and didn’t want to conform. I was advised to find him more boy orientated activities (not by the school I might add), so football club and beaver scouts which his dad took him so he had really good male role models and he was talked to man to man. It took this and the wonderful appointment of a male teacher for class 3 which has changed him (the whole class) completely. He is still lively but he is happy and no longer labelled as trouble and he has learnt the expectations of the classroom.
Keep at it see the good not the bad.
10th October 2008 @ 8:16 pm
i have a son who is ADHD/asperger’s. He has been on various meds for years, but now at 15 he is down to 3. one is adderall, and 2 @ night to help him sleep. Shay is a mystery b/c even though he is hyperactive, he also does “hyperfocus”. this is the reason for so long people couldn’t understand why I would have problems with him. For example he would behave in the library..
None of us want to put our kids on meds but it does sound like to me that your son has a strong chance of being adhd. I strongly recommend that you read NAMI, and get assessments.
IF his behaviour consistent at school and home, and NOT SITUATIONAL, it’s likely he has some type of mental health issue.
this is my first time on here so I haven’t read an update! But, I tried homeschooling my son and this is what happened. 1- I couldn’t do ANYTHING else and it took ALL day b/c he was so difficult (and stubborn, etc). 2- it didn’t help him with his big problem, SOCIALIZING. They do not pick up on all of those “non vocal cues”., that the rest of us take for granted.
In england my son would have had to go to a “special school”. Thankfully here in ameria they no longer do that. However, states are different and Oregon is much more parent friendly then California was. I also fought and fought to get him back into regular class. Yes he has pulled stuff since, and that required his dad and I going down to the school ALOT. but it is worth it!
Anyhow, whatever you do, don’t let them tell you you don’t know crap. For years I knew my son wasnt’ typical adhd, and that he was too bright to be in special education. so there ya go.
you are the expert, not any one else! mel