when I look at the boys, when they are asleep, I wonder what lies ahead of us…

for now they are both at primary school with plenty of education ahead of them, but what will happen, what will happen to my little boys with their special qualities that sets them apart?

I guess I don’t really want to think about this too much, because it both upsets me and worries me.

When I was pregnant with Edward everything seemed to be correct and in order, that seems such a long time ago now, in 2 months time he will be 10 years old. It is not so much the time that has passed that makes it seem so long ago, rather what has happened to us as a family, a never-ending cycle of appointments, assessments, for one thing or another.

I have just started to read the book ‘George and Sam’, written by a mother about her family of three boys, two of whom are autistic. I started to cry barely any distance in.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself, or maybe I am, I certainly don’t want to, I know that there are children and families living with Autism in a much more difficult situation than us, but I do think why, and how, and what do we do now?

William has now been diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum, whereabouts, I’m not sure yet, he doesn’t go back to his ‘schools’ until Monday, and to be honest it will be a relief, not that when there is just the two of us it is bad, because he has actually been really quite lovely the past two days. But I need to think, and plan, and decide what we need to do.

I know his school read this, and what can I do about that? Nothing.
I don’t know what this term holds, I would like it to hold a return to a full educational day for him, but I think that might be too much for some people to bear. I would like William to be happy, and learning, but again, that is probably hoping for too much.

If you are a person working in a school, one day could be great, the next day awful, you could get some verbal, or worse some physical abuse (by this I mean, a punch in the back, or scratched, not knifed up!).
But at 3.15pm that child will be collected from your care, and you can go home and not have to worry that the child will refuse to eat their tea, scratch their brother until he bleeds, and scream blue murder when you ask him to get undressed.
And in 5 years time, or less, you will never have to see him again, you will not get scratched, or punched, or have missiles thrown at you. So maybe when YOU have a bad day at work, you could consider that.

I would like to point out that that rant is not aimed at a particular school or person, I think it is something that all education professionals should remember when dealing with a difficult child.

Sorry I’m ranting, but I had to get this off my chest, maybe in the morning I will delete this, dunno.